218. When the First Message Isn’t Your Type (But You Still Feel Interested)

Online dating often surprises us. Sometimes, the very first message you receive from someone might not feel like it’s “your type.” Maybe their writing style is different, their profile pictures don’t stand out at first glance, or the conversation starts in a way that feels a little unusual. But then — something keeps you curious. You still want to talk, to understand more, and to figure out what to do next.

So, how should you approach this situation? Let’s break it down.

1. Recognize First Impressions Aren’t Final

It’s easy to judge someone quickly based on a first message, but online dating is full of nuance. Many people aren’t natural writers, and nerves often make introductions less than perfect. A simple “Hey, how are you?” might feel unoriginal, but it doesn’t always mean the person is boring or incompatible. Give yourself space to explore beyond that first impression.

2. Look for Genuine Effort

Even if the first message doesn’t wow you, check if they show effort in their profile or in follow-up replies. Do they answer your questions thoughtfully? Do they try to ask about your interests? If you see signs of genuine interest, it’s worth continuing the conversation a bit longer.

3. Ask Open-Ended Questions

If you’re unsure but still curious, take the lead. Ask questions that invite more than one-word answers:

• “What inspired you to join this app?”
• “What’s something fun you did recently?”
• “What kind of music or movies do you enjoy most?”

This way, you’ll quickly see if they can keep up an engaging conversation.

4. Notice How You Feel in the Chat

Sometimes it’s not about their “type” but about how the conversation makes you feel. Do you smile while reading their answers? Do you feel more relaxed, or do you feel like you’re forcing it? Trust your instincts — attraction can grow from comfort, humor, or shared values, not just appearances.

5. Know When to Step Away

Curiosity is great, but don’t push yourself to continue if the vibe isn’t right after a few exchanges. If you don’t feel respect, effort, or genuine connection, it’s okay to move on. Online dating is about quality, not quantity.

When someone doesn’t seem like your type at first but still catches your attention, give it a chance — but with boundaries. Stay open-minded, guide the conversation, and see if they reveal qualities you didn’t notice at first. You might discover a real connection where you least expected it.

Updated on: 18/08/2025